Category: Mindspeak

As mentors and trainers, we need to inculcate in the newer generation that it’s not about which side is the right one. It’s about being aware that both sides make the coin what it actually is. We need to stop playing the role of judge and juror.

There were two friends Andrew and Charles, who had not met for a long time. Andrew was living in Kenya and Charles in Dubai. As it normally happens, in today’s fast paced world of hustle and bustle, Andrew and Charles lost touch for several years. They were periodically in touch online, and on one of his trips to North America, Andrew decided to route his ticket via the lovely, vibrant city of Dubai. 

Even till date, as a matter of habit, i spend several hours each week observing human behavior as well as shopping behavior in malls, in stores, in restaurants, at picnic spots, at airports, and also between family and friends.

My personal assessment is that, over a lifetime, most of us exhibit both kinds of behavior, depending on different phases that we may go through. Yet, as humanity, we majorly fall in either one or the other category – either inherently happy and contented, or concerned, stressed and troubled. I have certainly had my share of oscillating between the two categories, with deep learnings.

I am a great fan of Dr Wayne Dyer and have heard several of his talks and read almost all his books. In one of his talks, he mentions that most of us drive around looking for a “no place to park”. What he means is that while we are looking for a place to park, our subconscious is conditioned in such a way that it shows us all the places which are full and where we cannot park. We end up noticing only the filled spaces, the lack of parking, and the crowds, forgetting that all we need is just one free space. Finally, when we do find a place to park, we end up complaining that it took way too long. How then can we fall in the category of the inherently happy and contented?

The same shift in perspective can extend to several other areas of life. We complaint that there are no honest people, we complaint that there are no real friends. We complaint that the metro is too crowded, the food taste is not what we expected, the traffic is too bad. All of which may be true.

Yet the truth is that we are almost always going to find what we are looking for. If our attention is zeroed in on shortcomings, we are certainly going to find plenty to complaint about. If we are looking for something wrong in another person, or in our way of life, in where we live or what we do for a living, we can be certain that we will find plenty of things that are not okay.

Yet, interestingly, the same logic works in the reverse as well. If our goal is to look for what’s right, then, more often than not, that is what we will find. We will simply sort through all the factors and choices, eliminate the ones that are not right, and zero in on the right solutions. Are all the solutions going to be perfect, or in our time? Most certainly not.

If we were to introspect further, we realize that majority are those who are path-dependent, and there are others who are path-creators or path-disruptors. Path-dependent are the ones who deliver predictability, and the world remains a stable place because of them. Path-creators or path-disruptors are ones who see things that do not exist, or, are able to see what others cannot. Our newer generation is showing a lot of promising such path-creators and path-disruptors.

Of late, the world has given rise to yet another category – the path destructors. They seem to believe that their sole purpose of existence is to destroy lives, individuals, businesses, families, nations.

When we were children and when we failed, we looked up to our parents for support and advice. Later in life, we looked up to a teacher at school or a mentor at work who would help clarify values during our moments of difficulty. Beyond that level, to assure us of values, there is always the government. Beyond the government, of course, we look up to religion. This model still continues to remain the same, irrespective of our family, our country, or our faith.

And yet, in recent times, we have seen that established model break down repeatedly.

Do we then focus on the hundreds of irritants in the world simply because they are there, and growing? Or do we create the ability to focus on the small percentage of life that suits us? By making this simple shift in attitude, we are going to change the way we feel about many aspects of life.

Who would have thought that the way we search for a parking spot could be such an important life lesson?

In short, our deeper purpose determines our true inner power!

As we move in to 2024, starting with myself, let our driving ambition and aim be to do whatever it takes to remain in the happy and contented category. Wouldn’t that also be a form of creating better world sustainability?

Food for thought, since the text-book definition of the word “Sustainability” is being thrown around a lot these days.